I’ve given tidbits about my pregnancy with Princess Pea before, but I don’t think I’ve shared this story . It was a week before school started when I found out I was pregnant , but I was determined to finish school .With my due date in the middle of the semester, I realized I needed to get accommodations . I sought out many avenues through campus to get the resources I needed. Every office I contacted asked me the same question: Is your pregnancy a good thing or a bad thing?
The question was extremely offensive. I found myself fighting surges of hormonal pregnant emotions as this question was presented time and time again. I found myself asking “How does that information affect you helping me?” After long efforts, I was told that CSU had nothing they would do for me. If I wanted to continue taking classes, I would have to discuss it with each of my professors and get permission to attend their classes and see what they were willing to do for me.
I was lucky that my degree: Human Development and Family Studies, had so many Professors that were not only understanding, but very accommodation (well, except one, but that’s a different story). I was able to attend class, finish school, and graduate; all because of supportive and helpful professors.
But before my happy ending, I encountered many struggles and issues at school. Besides the inappropriate questions about my pregnancy from people who couldn’t do anything for me, I faced other adversity. I had one professor whose PC attitude about my pregnancy was borderline offensive. The worst was in my marriage and family studies class. There was a guest lecture on sex education. While her most of her information was important, when she talked about pregnancy, she made it sound equal to an STI or a parasite. It was hard not to march (or waddle, I was eight months pregnant) to the front of the room and slap her.
Imagine find out you’re pregnant, without the support system and situation that I was in. It would be heartbreaking, hard, and scary to handle the situation if the people you reached out to asked and said the things that were said to me while I was pregnant?
There is the horrible thing going on regarding pregnancy. We as a society are devaluing it. We lump it in with STIs and other unpleasant consequences. We need to get rid of terms like unwanted pregnancy. It makes it sound as disposable as an unwanted soda, an unwanted hangnail, an unwanted cold. Often things proceeded by the term unwanted are things to get rid of, to dispose of, things of little worth and value . But has a child or person ever really been unwanted?
The best way to change this perspective, this issue, is to change the way we talk about sex. While there are studies out there proving that sex is not just for procreation (even among animals), we need to realize that we are not animals. We don’t answer to our impulses and drives. We don’t have to be our sexuality, we are humans, we are more than our urges, we are artists, scientists, engineers, teachers, politicians, mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters. If we are more complex that our sexuality, shouldn’t pregnancy be treated as more than just an STI? Our worth is not based on what we can give the world. If it was, then we wouldn’t euthanize people as soon as they retire? Our worth is innate, we all have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Why does that change if we are small, growing inside a uterus?
A pregnancy should never be dirtied with inappropriate questions, lumped in with infection, or ridiculed by PC babble.
How do you think society should view and handle pregnancy?